The Do's and Don'ts of Wedding Speeches: An Expert Guide

Alex Jordan

Alex Jordan

January 28, 2024

Discover who speaks at weddings and get tips for unforgettable bride, groom, best man, and parent speeches. Learn to write and deliver.

Introduction

Wedding speeches are a traditional part of most wedding celebrations. They provide an opportunity for loved ones to publicly express their happiness for the couple, share memories and advice, and make heartfelt toasts to the newlyweds.

Typically, several key people will give speeches at a wedding reception. These often include:

  • The bride
  • The groom
  • The father of the bride
  • The mother of the bride or groom
  • The best man
  • The maid or matron of honor

Other wedding party members like bridesmaids, groomsmen, or siblings may also give speeches. The content and order varies by region, culture and the couple's preferences.

Wedding speeches serve multiple purposes. They allow the couple to thank loved ones for their support. They give family and the wedding party a chance to share well-wishes. And they let everyone give personalized advice and anecdotes the couple can cherish.

Bride's Speech

Traditionally, the bride was not expected to give a speech at the wedding reception. However, it is becoming more and more common for the bride to share a few words, especially at more modern and informal weddings. The bride's speech is usually done as a thank you to guests and as an expression of affection and appreciation for the groom.

The bride's speech often comes after the groom's speech but before the father of the bride and other speeches. However, the order can vary depending on the wishes of the couple. The speech is usually brief, lasting just 2-3 minutes.

The bride uses the speech as an opportunity to thank guests for coming and share how much it means to her that they are there to celebrate her marriage. She will often thank her parents, the groom’s parents, and other immediate family. The most important part of the speech is expressing her feelings about her new husband, through a mix of heartfelt emotions, inside jokes, and sweet anecdotes. She may tell the story of how they met or talk about what she loves most about him. The goal is to offer a glimpse into their relationship and what makes them so happy together.

The speech allows the bride a moment to personally address guests and share her joy. With thoughtful preparation, she can deliver meaningful sentiments that will be remembered by all.

Groom's Speech

The groom's speech is a central part of most wedding receptions. Traditionally, the groom gives his speech after the bride’s speech and before the best man’s speech.

The groom's speech is his opportunity to publicly express his love for his new wife and thank her for agreeing to marry him. He also takes the chance to thank her family for raising her and supporting their relationship.

In the groom’s speech, he will likely:

  • Thank the bride for being his wife and proclaim his love for her
  • Compliment her on how beautiful she looks
  • Make a lighthearted joke about any of her quirks or habits
  • Tell the story about how they met and fell in love
  • Thank her parents and family for welcoming him and raising such a wonderful woman
  • Thank his own parents and family
  • Acknowledge others who helped with the wedding like the wedding party, planner, and vendors
  • Thank the guests for coming and supporting their marriage

The groom's speech sets the tone for the reception and allows guests insight into his feelings for his new bride. With humor and heartfelt emotion, the groom can give a memorable speech that kicks off this new chapter of their lives together.

Father of the Bride Speech

The father of the bride speech is a special moment where the bride's father welcomes guests and shares well-wishes for the newly married couple. This speech often contains fond memories and anecdotes about the bride growing up, offering a personal perspective on her life before marriage.

The father's speech typically expresses pride in the bride, congratulates the newlyweds, and imparts wisdom or advice as she embarks on married life. He may thank the groom for loving his daughter. Humor and sentimental emotions are common in this speech.

Some key tips for the father of the bride speech:

  • Keep it short, around 5 minutes. Don't make guests sit through a long monologue.

  • Personalize the speech with meaningful memories and inside jokes or stories. Reflecting on special father-daughter moments can be touching.

  • Be inclusive and welcoming to the groom's family and friends in attendance.

  • Consider weaving in traditions like passing wisdom onto the bride or officially welcoming the groom to the family.

  • Don't embarrass or roast the couple. Avoid overly emotional displays or inside jokes guests won't understand.

  • Thank guests for their attendance and the bride and groom for their love and companionship. End on a high note.

The father of the bride speech sets the tone for an atmosphere of celebration, well wishes, and warmth between families. By sharing his unique relationship with the bride, he helps launch the couple into married life surrounded by love.

Mother of the Bride or Groom Speech

The mother of the bride or groom speech has become increasingly popular at weddings. Traditionally, only the father of the bride would give a speech, but nowadays many mothers want to say a few words about their child as well.

While not always expected, a mother's speech can add a touching element to the reception. It allows the mother to express her love for her child, offer marriage advice, and officially welcome her new son or daughter-in-law to the family.

If the mother of the bride or groom decides to make a speech, the most common time is after the father of the bride and before the groom. The speech is usually 2-5 minutes long and covers the following:

  • Expressing love and pride for her child
  • Sharing a relevant story from the bride or groom's life
  • Welcoming and giving advice to the new couple
  • Thanking the guests for attending

The mother's speech should have a sentimental yet lighthearted tone. Humor is ok, but avoid anything embarrassing or insensitive. Focus on the joy of the day and well wishes for the couple's future together.

With the changing traditions of modern weddings, it is perfectly acceptable for mothers to give a speech celebrating their child's marriage if they wish to. When done thoughtfully, a mother of the bride or groom speech can add a meaningful personal touch.

Best Man Speech

The best man speech is one of the most anticipated moments of a wedding day. As best man, you have the honor and duty of giving a memorable speech that celebrates the newly married couple.

Speech Duties

As best man, your speech duties include:

  • Opening with a humorous joke or anecdote to get the audience's attention. Avoid anything that could be seen as insulting or in poor taste.

  • Giving well wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds on their marriage. Express how happy you are for your friend finding their perfect partner.

  • Telling a funny story or two about your friendship with the groom. These stories should be positive and focus on your bond. Refrain from embarrassing or negative stories.

  • Thanking the bride for bringing joy to your friend's life. Welcome her to the family.

  • Leading a toast to the bride and groom at the end of your speech, inviting guests to raise their glasses.

Adding Humor

Humor is a great way to liven up your best man speech. Some tips include:

  • Self-deprecating jokes about any of your own antics or embarrassing moments with the groom. Keep these light-hearted.

  • Playful teasing of the groom's flaws and quirks, while emphasizing how these make him one-of-a-kind.

  • Funny anecdotes from your friendship with the groom. Focus on positive memories and inside jokes.

  • Gently poking fun at newlywed life and giving the couple marriage tips or warnings with a humorous spin.

Telling Friendship Stories

Part of your duty is recounting your cherished friendship with the groom. Some ideas:

  • How you first met the groom and your earliest memories together.

  • Any funny mishaps or adventures you shared over the years.

  • Heartwarming examples of the groom's loyalty or kindness as a friend.

  • Inside jokes or bonding moments that capture your friendship's unique dynamic.

  • Why you admire the groom and are grateful for his friendship.

Speech Length

Aim for a 5-7 minute best man speech. Key points to hit:

  • Welcome guests and thank hosts

  • Compliment the newlyweds

  • Share 1-2 brief funny stories about the groom

  • Express well wishes for the couple's future

  • Lead a toast to the bride and groom

Keep it succinct but heartfelt. The focus should remain on the newly married couple. End on a high note leaving the audience smiling.

Maid of Honor Speech

The maid of honor speech is traditionally given by the bride's closest friend or sister. This speech is optional, but most maid's of honor choose to give one. The purpose is to share special memories and inside jokes that showcase the friendship between the maid of honor and bride.

The speech allows the maid of honor to tell funny stories about the bride that show her personality. She can talk about how they first met, fun adventures they've had together, and reminisce about the meaningful aspects of their friendship.

This is also a chance for the maid of honor to express well-wishes for the newly married couple. She'll likely say how perfect the groom is for the bride and share her confidence in their future happiness. It's common to include some lighthearted teasing of the groom and jokes about the wedding planning process.

The tone is meant to be both sentimental and humorous. The maid of honor typically describes what makes the bride so special through charming anecdotes. Her speech allows guests to see the bride through the eyes of her closest friend.

Other Wedding Party Speeches

In addition to speeches from the bride, groom, parents, best man, and maid of honor, brief speeches may also be given by other members of the wedding party.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen often give short, lighthearted speeches sharing funny stories or well-wishes for the newly married couple. These tend to be 1-3 minutes long and help add a personal touch from close friends.

Siblings of the bride or groom sometimes speak as well, telling childhood stories and welcoming their new in-law to the family. These are nice opportunities for brothers, sisters, etc. to poke fun and express their love.

If children have a role in the ceremony, they may also give a short wedding speech. For young ones, this is usually guided by an adult to share something sweet and simple.

Wedding speeches from bridesmaids, groomsmen, siblings, or other wedding party members are not mandatory. But they provide a chance to share personal thoughts from the inner circle. The focus is on humor, sentiment, and well-wishes for the newlyweds. These tend to be very short speeches compared to those given by immediate family.

Speech Etiquette and Tips

Giving a wedding speech can be nerve-wracking. Here are some tips on speech etiquette and preparation:

  • Keep it brief. Aim for 5-7 minutes maximum. Short, heartfelt speeches are remembered more than long, rambling ones.

  • Make it personal. Share a special memory or inside joke about the couple. This shows you took time to prepare meaningful remarks.

  • Be tasteful. Avoid inappropriate stories or humor. Remember there are family members of all ages present.

  • Compliment the couple. Highlight their wonderful qualities and why you hope they'll have a long, happy marriage.

  • Thank guests for coming. Welcome and thank them for being part of the couple's special day.

  • Mind your delivery. Practice aloud to polish your speech. Speak slowly, enunciate clearly, and pause for laughter/applause.

  • Have notes handy. Jot down key points on index cards in case you get nervous. But avoid reading straight from notes.

  • Personalize props/visuals (optional). Photos, inside jokes, etc. can personalize your speech if used briefly.

  • End with a toast or blessing. Wish the couple well or share a short blessing. Then raise your glass to the newlyweds.

With practice and personal touches, you can give a memorable, meaningful wedding speech. Focus on celebrating the couple to make it a speech to remember.

Conclusion

Wedding speeches are a special tradition that allows important people in the couple's lives to share heartfelt words on their big day. There are several key wedding speeches that typically take place:

  • The bride and groom give speeches expressing their love and gratitude. These are unique opportunities for them to speak from the heart.

  • The father of the bride gives a welcoming speech to guests, often sharing memories of his daughter and well wishes for the couple. This can be a touching moment coming from the bride's father.

  • The best man gives a lively speech honoring the groom, telling funny stories and emphasizing the strength of their bond. This speech kicks off the reception on a lighthearted note.

  • The maid of honor gives a thoughtful speech supporting the bride, highlighting her good qualities and their friendship. This offers a female perspective on the bride's journey to marriage.

  • The mother of the bride or groom gives an optional speech sharing their joy. This offers a parental viewpoint as someone who raised one of the newlyweds.

In summary, wedding speeches allow loved ones to verbally celebrate the couple through humor, sentiment, wisdom, and well wishes on their special day. The key speeches provide meaningful personal touches to the occasion.